Normally, when we get on the road….headed anywhere over about an hour away, all the girls will be fast asleep most of the trip, only waking up to pee or whine about the temperature of the vehicle. Of course, the desired cabin temperature is different to each of them. One of them is hot, one of them is cold, the other is just right, but will soon complain of being hot, or cold, depending on how the thermostat is adjusted.
The notion that they may all three be comfortable and happy simultaneously is hilarious, ridiculous and asinine.
In preparation for the fluctuating temperature, I recommend having the following items within arm’s length, at all times:
1) light jacket w/ zipper
2) tank top
3) hooded sweatshirt
4) flip flops
5) a variety of different gloves, ranging from isotoner driving gloves to insulated gloves designed for use in Arctic conditions
6) tissues or hand towel for blotting excessive perspiration
7) afghan, preferably made by grandmother
8) ice packs
9) wool parka
10) pair of scissors to convert jeans into “Daisy Dukes”, as a last resort
However, I am slightly confused by today’s trip back to Oklahoma. For the most part, they’ve stayed awake the entire trip, and there’s been no arguing. It’s 4:00 CST, and there’s been not a single tear shed, by anyone. Nope…..they’ve stayed strong. Oh sure, theres been the occasional fart, which does tend to bring about a certain amount of discord, but that’s to be expected.
But I’ll go ahead and be honest…….it wouldn’t be horrible if Emma would go ahead and nap the rest of the way home. Cuz I’m not sure how many more times I can answer,
“Stoney, do you think birds will be extinct”?
“Stoney, do you think mammals will be extinct”?
“Stoney, do you think that bears will be extinct”?
“Stoney, do you think that chihuahua’s will become extinct”?
I stopped listening two hours ago. I just say “no” whenever there is a momentary silence in her constant chatter. It’s worked so far. Fingers crossed that she doesn’t ask me something super important.
-by Stoney Stamper
I am the dad of 3 beautiful girls, and the husband to another beautiful girl. I deal with a lot of estrogen. And it’s usually pretty entertaining. Enjoy.
