You can be a mean mom and a good mom all at the same time.
Today GiGi just didn’t want to. She didn’t want to get dressed. She didn’t want to brush her teeth. She didn’t want to do school. She didn’t want to get in the van. She didn’t want to go to her appointment.
She just didn’t want to.
Well, guess what. I’ve been a mom for over eighteen years and there are days when, “I just don’t want to”, too.
I’ve been a human for 36 years are there are days when, “i just don’t want to.”
I’ve been married for eighteen years and there are days when, “I just don’t want to.”
I’ve been a keeper of the home for nineteen years and there are times when, “I just don’t want to.”
But that’s not how life is lived, is it?
We just have to.
So, our GiGi had a consequence for when she didn’t want to get in the van. She had a consequence for when she didn’t want to walk into the appointment. She had a consequence for throwing herself down in the waiting room. She had a consequence for not giving attention to those who deserved it. And when we left, she didn’t get a sucker, a sticker, and she didn’t get to have fun music on the way home.
I held her. Told her I loved her. Told her what she should have done. Talked to her about the important stuff 👉🏼 about how ‘the way we treat people on our hard days, matters.’ Did I yell at her, no? Did i belittle her? No. But I didn’t tell her it was okay. I didn’t excuse her behavior for her. And she didn’t get the fun rewards, because she made a choice.
When we got home, she didn’t get to play- she had to go for a nap.
Because her hard today, needed to be faced and she chose to be angry. Because manipulation is real in little kids, just like big kids, and adults. Because the world needs people who understand there are consequences and it’s worth it to think through our actions.
Because I wanted to just say, “oh well; she’s the youngest of seven.” But the world needs moms to say, “oh no you don’t.” So kids can be brave and kind.
Not angry and mean.
You can be lovingly mean, momma. And it counts.
-by Kati Gibson
